Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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