My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize