i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
