it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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