a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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