I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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