therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
