so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
