I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
