Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize