that's an acceptable place to lick
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
