At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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