I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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