Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
