physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
