I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
