no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
