I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
