omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
