I am in a vortex of obligation.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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