How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am one with the molecules
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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