addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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