I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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