You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In other news, I just burned my penis
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
