I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm going to jail i love you
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
