just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
last night I used snow as a chaser
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