I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
