i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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