just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The power of my boobs compel you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
