Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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