Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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