In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
