i think my tv is drunk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
