just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
