walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
