You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
