She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
