she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize