On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
