life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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