Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Shame - the story of my life.
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