I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
