Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
