he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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