Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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