hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
