Do you still have your period?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
