3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
