Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
