'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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