the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
