And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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