I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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