weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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