My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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