Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
True but thats because hes a fetus.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
