Who wears a wallet chain?!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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