i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
