if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
