I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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