Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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