y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
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