Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
