I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
