I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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