Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
