What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
pray to the hookup gods
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New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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